Good Doubt

Doubt is a very real part of life. We doubt truth statements on a daily basis from those made by weather forecasts to those made by politicians and everything in-between. Your doubt may reach to levels of existence and metaphysics questioning even the presence of the words of this blog as you read them (they don’t exist, you are only seeing a conglomeration of ones and zeros). Doubt is normal and human.

Yet we seem to get excited when doubt occurs in the religious arena. When talking about faith and God and one’s doubt becomes, for many, a taboo, a problem that needs to be overcome. For doubt to exist in areas of one’s faith is portrayed as problematic.

I have now watched my second Ingmar Bergman movie, Winter Light and am getting snobbier and snobbier by the minute. It was only the binge viewing of the Rambo movies that kept me from completely removing myself from the hoi polloi, the common folk and to start living for the sake of the aesthetic beauty of obscure art. Thanks Rambo, you have saved me again.

Winter Light wrestles with doubt in the religious context. Tomas, the main character, is a priest who is wrestling with a profound doubt because of his particular faith in God. His role as a priest is cobbled by “God’s silence.” The God that Tomas believes in has been silent and absent. When a married couple looks to Tomas for help Tomas can only offer dribble. The husband is in despair, he wants to take his own life and Tomas cannot reach him. He cannot offer any depth, any direction, or any real help to a man who only sees despair and hopelessness and hatred in the world. For Tomas, doubt is debilitating.

This is a common approach to doubt in the religious arena. It comes out of the notion that you must have a strong, robust faith that cannot be shaken, challenged, or harmed if you are to be a leader. Yet in Tomas’ case (and for many others) his doubt is necessary for his faith is immature, adolescent and shallow. Tomas believes in an “echo God” – a god who is a reflection of himself. Think of Feuerbach’s projection idea of God (that God is the needs and desires that we project), add a dash of narcissism and you get this hallow God that Tomas has held to throughout his vocation. Now, years after his wife’s death, Tomas is hearing only God’s silence because his conception of the divine and his faith cannot be sustained when faced with the reality of life. Tomas is at a point where he is forced with a choice: wrestle with his faith, deepen his convictions and his relationship with God or leave the priesthood, the church, and embrace disbelief. It is doubt that brings him to this place.

This is a good thing for Tomas. It is not a fun or easy thing, but it is good and demonstrates the value that doubt can have with one’s faith. When faced with the harsh realities of the world a shallow, mean, empty, immature God will not stand. One’s faith will justifiably be threatened and doubt will emerge. If one’s faith is shallow then this doubt can become a corrective, a purge of the weakness. Doubt can be a saving grace depending on where it may lead.

What you do with your doubt is the important unknown that makes doubt potentially dangerous.

When doubt forces you to face the frailty and faults of your faith and when doubt challenges your hopes you can crumble, wither, and walk away from all things spiritual and religious, or you can face your doubt, take it seriously and wrestle. You can wrestle with whatever those core tenants of your faith may be. You can claim a deeper, stronger, healthier faith.

Bergman’s movie ends with Tomas standing before an empty sanctuary (aside from his mistress and a crippled sexton) and Tomas starting the service. Tomas starts by saying, “Holy, holy, holy; All the Earth is filled with your glory.”

There are a number of ways that this ending can be understood and I am not going to list them. Watch the movie, make your own decision about this ending. What I see is hope. I see Tomas crying and clinging to one of those basic tenants of his faith and demanding that it be seen through. Tomas wants to hear God. Tomas wants to find a God that is not just an empty echo of himself and so he falls into the performative act that goes deep into his tradition and allows the power of that act to help him in his doubt.

Returning to or continuing those actions, the ritual, the prayer that connects with a tradition, that goes beyond your individual, personal faith is one way to wrestle with a good doubt and may bring you closer to God. Instead of going deeper into yourself, lean on the writings of the ancients, the prayers that have been passed on for centuries, and the scriptures that have been informing and guiding people in their faith for generations. Lean on those resources, say the words, ingest the wisdom, and listen for God. Let your doubt purge the weakness of your faith and let the actions guide your belief.  

Here is the quick summary of what I am trying to say:

Doubt = good (sorta)

Worship = good (kinda)

Bergman’s Winter Light = good

Watch the movie, doubt your faith, worship with the multitudes that have gone before us, mix, stir, and ingest.