Clean Your Room!

            Philosophers get their bread and butter in large part by wondering and thinking and sounding smart about epistemology (how we know). Anthropologists join philosophers in wondering about the basics and the nature of humanity. They have written large, difficult to read texts making the non-studied individual feel inadequate. That is how they make a living.

            Emma Donoghue touches upon both of these issues as well as others in her novel, Room. In this work a mother and son are held in captivity for the first five years of the boy’s life (the mother had been there longer). While in captivity the mother has to make decisions about how to teach and raise her son. She teaches him to read, mathematics, how to think, as well as other things. The ordinary day is like a school day, giving structure and purpose to things. They even have a television to watch. Yet unlike Plato’s allegory of the cave, the glimmer of things on the television are not real but are portrayed as imaginary. The shadows remain shadows. What is real is the room and everything in it. What is real is only the universe that the young boy knows. Through the book we follow the boy trying to make sense of a larger world in comparison to the one room world that he had known for so long.

            Just so it can be said, I think Room is a very well written, well-put together book. The story is told from Jack’s (the 5 year old) point of view, his grammar reflecting his understanding of what is real and what is imaginary. 95% of the time Donoghue pulls off this feat, but every once in a while Jack thinks something that does not follow the usual thinking patterns of a five-year-old, even one as different as Jack. That aside, it is a very good work, a very good novel that offers a number of different questions without offering any answers. This is a sign of a good work.

            How many of us feel as if we have been living in a Room but have not realized it until we “escape.” Consider this specifically from the religious point of view. So much of religious education is teaching a grammar that reflects a belief. In Room Jack’s grammar reflects his world-view and to a degree his standards of faith. Following the leading of Bushnell and more currently Macintyre, Lindbeck, and Hauwerwas (among many, many others) there is a strong school of thought that suggests that in religious education we need to help children (and adults) learn and develop a grammar of faith that is reflective of the community. It is one thing to say “Christ is Lord,” but that speech-act carries a deep sense of meaning that further shapes how one speaks. We learn how to speak of God, Christ, and our faith. We claim that our faith tradition offers a salvation from and liberation in life, but are we simply putting ourselves into a room and shutting the door? Jack’s mom worked hard to make the nightmare of the Room a place of safety and security for her son. Do we not do the same with religion?

            Let this sit for a moment and then consider: are we being honest with ourselves? Should we be? There is a safety and security that comes with the grammar of faith that we embrace, and that can be a good thing. People’s lives are saved through the safety of faith. Yet are we free? Is there a world out there that is calling us to take a chance, to engage at “face-value” and what would that be?

            On the one hand, there is the danger that we can create our own Room of reality that will isolate us for others. We can create a grammar and narrative that will only see things in one way and will not offer a place for engagement. The one-way epistemology was the practice of a mother and son held captive. The only way to survive was to shape reality into something that held some sense of goodness, but to control that understanding without any outside input.

            On the other hand, we can have a grammar that shapes who we are, but leaves the doors and windows open to engage with the world. We can have a narrative of what it means to be human and at the same time let that narrative be shaped by experiences with the outside world. This is a much more open understanding of how to be a community.

            Obviously there are many religious communities that fit the former and many that fit the later. I believe that we need to engage the world, that we need to be in a constant flux of back and forth, but with an understanding that there is a reality from which we speak. We have a Room we can return to, we can invite other to, and from where we find our sense of identity. That Room can be a nightmare or it can be a salvation.

Christian Cliches Can Drive You Crazy

Here is a nice little reflection written by a church member and friend Gordon Pierce

I imagine many of you have had something similar to this happen to you. You life or a family member is in a troubling time. There has been some kind of disaster in your life, and you are not in a place you wish it to be. Then a well-meaning Christian crosses your path. They say to you something like “Trust God”, “Have Faith”, “Keep the Faith”, or “Pray about it.” “What?” you ask to yourself.  These people are probably trying to comfort you by saying these cliches. They do not realize there really isn’t much comfort in these words.

Perhaps in these same bad times you may hear a sermon that makes similar assertions. Its subject is about Trusting God, Having Faith, or Prayer. The result of the sermon is for you are about the same as what was said to you, not much help for the state you are in.

I remember very distinctly hearing a sermon some years ago that was based on the eleventh chapter of Hebrews. The eleventh chapter of Hebrews is commonly known as the “Faith” chapter. The Pastor used several examples of people of faith identified in this chapter as a basis for his message. The “Who,” “What,” and “Why” were well explained. The “How” was sadly missing.

For example Abraham had faith that God would resurrect his son, this is why he took Isaac out into the wilderness to sacrifice him as an offering to God. Abraham was stopped in the procedure. God provided a Ram as a substitute sacrifice for Isaac. The pastor mentioned a few other examples of people with faith. Throughout the message, however, I kept asking under my breath “How?” How did Abraham have the faith enough to trust God when he was asked to sacrifice Isaac?

How do we get so that we trust God? We wrestle with trusting God because He is invisible. We can not verify his existence by sight. He normally (?) does not speak to us in a human sounding voice or any voice at all for that matter. He does not leave us sticky note sheets with instructions written on them. Problems exist for us increasing our faith. When I hear someone’s personal faith being questioned or my personal faith, I think about when I was a second grade student. I had to stay after school a few times. It seems I had a propensity to chat. Often, I was told to stay after school because of my behavior. I was then given a chore. I had to write, “I will not talk in class” 100 times on a large blackboard. Now to change my behavior regarding faith, can I increase my faith by writing “my faith must increase” on a blackboard 100 times? Somehow I do not see this working well. 

As you can see, there is a trend by Pastors and well meaning Christians to attempt to encourage us in our Christian walk by giving repeated cliches. But, the “How” seems to always be missing. So how does one learn how to trust God or how to grow in faith? I do not suggest that I possess a rock solid answer to this question. Neither can I offer a spiritual pill that will help you in these spiritual arenas.

My personal experience wrestling with trust, faith, and prayer has been one of frustration. However, I have come to a partial answer for getting better at them. Reading scripture is key. Often while reading the scriptures something stands out that will make my “a-ha light” go on in my mind. The text in the Bible seems to be double sized and in bold as I read it. It is at these moments I come closer to trusting God, having my faith grow, and seeing the necessity of prayer. The Gospels and the epistles seem to hold a lot of those “a-ha” moments for me. The Books of Psalms and Proverbs may also help. I am not 100% at peace with these terms yet, but I am a work in progress.

Prayer is an area in a Christian’s life in which faith in God may be realized. Again, I do not offer a “Do this” answer to the question “How do I pray?” I only know that it works.

Some years ago I was attending a small church where the pastor did all of the preaching, adult Bible teaching, music leading and a myriad of other things. On Wednesday evenings the church held a prayer meeting. The pastor announced that he was about to have an operation. He would be recovering for a few weeks and would miss church for a time. He had a procured substitute pastor to take care of the preaching. He did not have anyone to lead the adult Bible study held Sunday mornings before service. He asked Prayer meeting attendees if anyone could take this duty. The next thing I knew my right hand when up and I thought; “Pierce, what the heck are you doing? You do not know anything about teaching the Bible.” I felt like taking my left hand and pulling my right arm down. It seemed to be stuck straight up. Too late, I was spotted. I was thanked for taking this responsibility. I told the pastor he was “welcome” and I wondered “What in the world am I to do?” He said I would be needed in the role as the adult class leader in two weeks. After the prayer meeting he offered some advice on how to prepare and deliver the study. His statements were found as a small comfort for me. What was I to do? Suddenly I remembered I enjoyed listening to Dr. John MacArthur teaching through the book of Daniel on WARV Christian radio a few years ago. “I will teach from the Book of Daniel.” There was a lot of reading of the Bible and several Bible commentaries for the next ten days. The night before I was to lead the first class I had a panic attack. Debbie and the boys were out of the house for a reason I now forget so I went into our bedroom and got down on my knees. My prayer went something like this. “Lord please give me a cold or laryngitis so I can not speak. Debbie will have to call the church to tell them I can not teach the class in the morning.” This type of rhetoric went on for quite a while. Finally as I was about to wrap up my prayer I heard in a wee small voice deep in my head say “My grace is sufficient for thee…” (2 Corinthians 12:9). A wave of comfort came over me. I taught the adult Bible class for the next three years. God does answer prayer. This is just one of many examples I could give from my personal prayer experiences.

We can Trust God. We can grow in Faith. We can learn to pray more effectively, but there is no magic “How?” It is by spending time looking for God in His word and in prayer.

I am afraid I have heard many sermons that do not explain the “How.” Isn’t the “How” the answer we all need. Below I have included a few Bible verses that can help the person wishing to address the issues touched on in this essay.

Finally an observation, totally unrelated, Abraham must have been one strong old man. Have you ever attempted to grab a goat? It is no easy task. A ram is a much larger and stronger animal. Hats off to Abraham.

Hebrews 11:6

John 6:44

Ephesians 2:8 (Key verse)

It is Easier to Just Forget

I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine about forgiveness, what it entails, etc. This is a difficult concept, made so by the glossing over of the hard work that forgiveness demands by our society.

Forgive and Forget

Bury the Hatchet

Water Under the Bridge

You are Dead to Me

I guess that last one is not really so much about forgiveness. The rest speak to a forgetting, a letting go, and pretending that the incident never happened. Such an approach, is not a good one at all and can lead to what experts call, ScE-DaR[1] (spontaneous  cranial explosion due to anger repressed by one). Don’t look it up, it is so cutting edge that the cutting edge people have no idea it exists. You’ll get cut it is so cutting edge. The point is that when we try to “forget” we bury and repress and eventually our heads will explode… or something like that might happen.

Tan Twan Eng’s novel (that’s right, I actually read fiction) The Garden of Evening Mists, among many themes, considers the role of forgiveness. Now for those of you looking for a book review, move on! That is not what this is, it is a reflection. Go read someone gush about the writing, the poetry, or the fancy book cover, elsewhere.

Where was I?

Right, forgiveness (but I will not forgive the book review trolls).

The main character of Eng’s book, Yun Ling, is struggling with issues of forgiveness. She is a survivor of a Japanese war camp in Malaysia during World War II where she was maimed, beaten, and emotionally scarred. While she does not claim to be doing so, Yun Ling is struggling with her reluctance to forgive the Japanese. A large portion of the book is around her relationship with Aritomo, a Japanese gardener renowned for his skills. Yun Ling, the woman who is looking to convict war criminals, the woman who has a mountain of hatred and animosity towards Japan, reaches out to Aritomo because she feels a deep urge and desire to create a Japanese garden.

It is because she will not forgive herself.

She is only looking to punish those who hurt her, but is looking for a sense of reconciliation with her sister through her actions and engagement with Aritomo. Maybe she understands how important forgiveness is and how difficult it is to gain.

I do not want to get into the whys with great detail; I do not want to spoil the book. Yun Ling feels responsible, feels as if she has wronged her sister and so has to build a garden with someone who represents the very people she despises. One of the unforeseen consequences of this work is that is forces her to interact with the people she does not want to forgive. Yet she must if she ever wants to gain some kind of forgiveness. She has to learn to trust Japanese individuals and even find value in their culture. Through her interactions she sees the complexity of the people, the complexity of individuals in moments of war, and the complexity of blame. No longer can she blame an entire country for her wounds; she now has to wrestle with them herself.

Forgiveness is not about forgetting but about remembering. Forgiveness is not about letting things go, but about holding on and working to rebuild. Forgiveness is not about burying but exposing and staying in the hurt with the other. This is for the person seeking forgiveness and the person who is in the position to offer it. It is difficult, messy work. Garden of Evening Mists looks at the mess of forgiveness and does not shrink away from its complexity.

This is a strength of the book, but one that you will not get by skimming it. You need to journey with Yun Ling, you need to remember with her and continue to remember and learn and grow. It is a novel that is told in a way that brings you along to the place where you are left having to decide if you want to forgive, if you are ready to forgive.

In the end, for Yun Ling to forgive she must forget, but it is not an easy forgetting that she must do. It is one that is only achieved through great work, difficulty, and pain. This difficult, rebuilding is what forgiveness really is about.

When Fart Jokes are Good

I’m not a conformist. I don’t like walking with large groups of people, I don’t like dressing the same as my children, and I don’t like being told what to do. This is probably why I became a pastor; I did not want to be a part of Nietzsche’s “herd” so I went for the uber…. (unpack that!).

I’m not a conformist and yet growing up I was fairly involved with Boy Scouts. This is an organization that screams conformity. Granted I still did it in my way, but within the confines of the structure of Troops, Patrols, Uniforms, Leaders, Oaths, and the like. In reflection I see how much I gained and learned from Scouts and how it was an important part of shaping who I am today. All this is to say that I am not anti-Scouting.

I think I may even be pro-Scouting.

Two of my children are in Scouts and seem to enjoy it and more might join (yep, I have a whole gaggle of children waiting to conform to the norms of society). I haven’t said “no” to any of them, so I guess I am pro-Scouting. The church where I am serving even sponsors a Cub Scout Pack and I haven’t created a stink about that, so I guess I really am pro-Scouting. Now, after reading about the Southern Baptists’ reaction to recent decisions that the Boy Scouts of America (BSA) made and I think I am going to be even more pro-Scouting… to a point.

First, I think it is inexcusable to bar anyone from anything because of his or her sexual orientation.

Second, it is even more inexcusable if it is a child being excluded. Think about this for a moment. How many children in elementary school are actually articulating a sense of sexual orientation? From the 1^st to the 4^th or 5^th grade (and beyond) boys are more interested in fart jokes, action heroes, sports activities, and electronic gaming entertainment. Why would anyone ask a 6 or 7-year-old Cub Scout if he is gay?

With the older kids, on the Boy Scout side, the Onion made the great satirical point about how difficult it is to be a Boy Scout in this day and age. In actuality, just growing up and trying to figure out who you are is a difficult thing. If you are struggling with a sense of sexuality and belonging and are in a very delicate time in your life and then told you aren’t welcome, what with that do to a young man’s psyche? Unless the Boy Scouts are advocating sexual activity in their meetings or offering a “sex” merit badge, one’s sexual orientation should not matter.

(I also think the ban on gay leaders is stupid because it is sending mixed messages, saying that the BSA organization is trying to please everyone, but that is for another time.)

All that said, I’m glad the BSA reversed its stance on exclusion, but that is not what I’m writing about. I recently read that a leader from the Southern Baptists is urging churches to stay connected with the Boy Scouts (good) so that they could help all of the gay Scouts learn how to live morally “straight” lives (bad). Read between the lines and you will see that A.J. Smith, head of the Association of Baptists for Scouting is encouraging churches to have a) an undue influence over Troops/Packs that they may sponsor, and b) work to make any gay scouts in those groups feel as if they do not belong.

Think about this. The Boy Scouts is a non-sectarian group when it comes to religion. Churches sponsor troops as a part of a service to the community. It is very likely that people of faiths other than Christian are a part of those groups (in fact I know that we have many Jewish and even a Hindu family in the Pack my church sponsors). If a church is going to get involved to make sure the scouts are leading a “morally straight” life, then why not make it a morally straight life that is in accordance to Christianity, or to a Protestant understanding of Christianity, or to a Baptist understanding, or to a Southern Baptist understanding. Now we are excluding a whole mess of people.

If a church is involved to make sure that everyone is having sex with the “right” person this is a thinly veiled way to tell any boy or young man who is struggling with a sense of identity and sexuality that he is wrong, different, and not accepted. Our society is already over-infused with images and messages of what is “right” and what is “wrong” (that is starting to slowly change); the message does not need to be reinforced. A.J. Smith states that the resolution of the BSA deals only with sexual orientation and not behavior. Smith is taking that to say, “you are welcome as long as you conform to the life we think you should live... even if that makes you feel wrong.”

Like I said, I am not a conformist.

I support the Boy Scouts and will support them more when they let go of the stupid anti-gay leader rule (I am sure there is a technical name for that). I support them because it gives boys and young men another place to try to learn what it means to be a leader in this society among many other values. It is not a religious institution but a civic one. The Southern Baptists are wrong on this, even with A.J. Smith’s compromised reading of the situation. Let the boys be boys. Let them make their fart jokes, let them be lewd at times, and let them have their fun. And if in the midst of it a conversation about sexuality emerges (hopefully with the older boys and not the younger), let the boys learn how to listen, how to try to understand, and how to be supportive of each other. I think that is one of the basic ideals of Scouting. I’m pretty sure exclusion is not in the Scout Oath or Law, but it has been a while and I was never good at conforming to rote statements of faith or fidelity.