Finding God

Opening shot – close up of a bearded man, staring at a computer. Candles are lit around him. A bell rings:

Bearded Man: Where is God found, experienced, and seen in life?

He looks up and a tear falls from his eye onto the desk. Fade to black.

I have finally earned my right to wear a black turtleneck and beret – I have watched my first Ingmar Bergman film. Now I can join the ranks of the pretentious and speak in a faux accent when talking about the latest “film” that I watched in the “cinema” (versus movie/flick I saw in at the Cineplex).

The Bergman movie I watched was Through a Glass Darkly, the first of his three “God films.” The other two, Winter Light, and The Silence I intend on viewing in the somewhat near future. Probably the best thing about the movie is that it is only 89 minutes long! Almost anyone can sit through a black and white foreign film for 89 minutes. One more minute and I would have had to watch NASCAR to bring me back to balance.

Bergman’s film is beautiful in a dark, empty kind of way. The film centers around a family and the dynamics of the members of that family as well as the emptiness that each member of the family is wrestling with make the film powerful and evocative. The film holds its own without the aid of postulating pompous theories about what certain things may or may not symbolize.

In the movie is a serious searching; a searching on the part of the characters and on the part of viewer. With the characters we find a searching towards a relationship that is desired. Martin wants a certain kind of relationship with his wife Karin. Karin wants a relationship with God that involves a profound revelation and awakening. Minus, Karin’s brother, is looking for a deeper relationship with his father, David, and is tormented over his relationship with his sister. David is trying to connect with his children and find meaning in his work. This is just a surface overview of some of the relational tension; there is more than what I have just suggested. Everyone is trying to connect and everyone is failing. In this relational turmoil the viewer is led to consider where God might be found. The title of the movie, a thinly veiled reference to 1 Corinthians 13:12 – “For now we see in a mirror (glass) dimly…”

Here is where the searching continues because if God is present in the movie it is through the off-screen experience of one of the characters. David explains how before joining the rest of the family he attempted suicide but was stopped through the miracle of mechanical failure. This experience leads David to find a deep, mystical love for his children and son-in-law. It leads him to start to try to live differently. This is an experience that is central to David’s existence, it is a major moment in David’s life and we only hears about it as an anecdote shared by David. God is not directly in the movie. We do not see God act. We do not see God involved throughout the rest of the move. There is a moment when Karin mistakes a spider for God and imagines God in horrific, graphic ways, but it is a delusion. I would say that God is not present in this movie. What is present is a searching for God.

In this film we see a dark, marred reflection of the characters through their relationships with each other. For example we know who Martin is through his strained relationship with his wife. The same is with God. We do not see God in this film but we see the yearning for God in the characters. In this yearning we see a God who is with the lost man ready to end his life. We see God with the young man who is struggling with the harsh reality of life. We see God with the woman who is trying to stand between insanity and reality. We see God not controlling or contriving life but staying with the characters in life. In such a dark and beautiful film this is a comfort. The comfort is that God is not completely passive and is not completely controlling. God is present, perhaps guiding, wooing, and calling people out of their own sense of distress and despair.

In theological circles questions about the agency of God is something that causes folks to struggle. If God is all-powerful, all-mighty, and the greatest thing since and before sliced bread then God must have a role to play in our lives, controlling our choices, our decisions, and even our salvation. These are the predestination folks, Calvinists and the like who find some weird comfort in the notion that we are saved or condemned no matter what we do; it is out of our hands. There are others who like to hold to a notion of free will. These are folks who would say that we all have a choice how to live and how we may live with God. If we have free will then we should have control to make decisions, to make mistakes, to neglect and hurt others as well as ourselves. God is player in the process but does not control the process – agency is in our hands. The danger is taking so much power away from God that God becomes a silent presence that can do nothing, that cannot persuade or guide us or sometimes save us.

What if God gives us control over our lives, but can still intervene when it will sway us to make a decision that will be to our benefit? In this film David tells of a time when he tried to kill himself but was interrupted by the failure of a car to work; we are led to assume that this was the hand of God. If so, then God has agency, God can act and does. On the other hand Minus and Karin, brother and sister, cross a threshold that breaks and destroys the sibling relationship that they may have once had. They are not prohibited from such an action by God; God does not swoop in and stop them through some amazing act. Minus and Karin have agency and fall from grace.

God can be seen in Bergman’s film, but it is darkly. We see God reflected in the actions of David, after the failed suicide, but David’s actions still hold selfishness and fear as if he has not fully embraced his revelation of God. David shows a shrouded reflection of God. We see God reflected in the actions of Martin as he sacrifices again and again to take care of his wife, putting his needs aside. Yet he does so with a mechanic of “doing the right thing,” not being honest with Karin his own feelings and struggles. God is shrouded in the reflection of Martin. With Karin and Minus we see a struggle to love and care for each other as well as their father, but it occurs in a way that is broken; God is shrouded.

In the reality of life (outside of film-land) we struggle with a searching for God. Yes, God is found in relationships, but if that is the only place where we find God then we will again and gain find the reflection of God shrouded for in even the best relationships there is selfishness, control, anger, etc. Yes, God can be found in those moments of the miracle of our lives, but they are so often misunderstood, looked over, or just missed and God’s reflection is shrouded. If God is only found in relationships then God becomes powerless. If God is only found in miracles and moments of power over our lives then God is a cruel spider toying with our lives as if we were puppets.

We must look to balance both. Through our own, personal lives we can work on, strengthen our relationship with God via prayer, meditation, worship, and reading brilliant blogs. Through our public lives we can work to see God in the other and to show God in what we do. In all this we must again and again remember that we are only seeing God as if through a glass darkly. Now where is my beret?